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    • Work/life balance
    • Sex Education & Sex Addiction

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    Ujima radio interviews on sex & love addiction

    Sex addiction or Love addiction or nothing in a name, but truly a gender split as to which gender suffers from which of those Addiction?

    So much of the past can live in the present. Listen to Gary during a radio interview talking about the adverse impact on our lives that unresolved past experiences might be having on us. That which we are aware of, we have an opportunity to affect and endeavour to change the impact. That which we are not aware of as having an influence upon us, we can do little about.

    During the next portion of a radio interview, Gary talks about a journey that some of us might be ready to take. The aim being to move stuff that goes on in the unconscious and affects us, into the conscious so that we can consider what (if any) change we might want to effect.


    The Art of Loving


    Available from & Google books. Or email me directly.

    The Art of Loving is for singles, partners, marrieds and for those thinking of or preparing for marriage. It is an educational book and at the same time provides self-help tools to help you in your current or future relationship – from an experienced Relationship Therapist.

    What do you do and what happens when your whole world – as you know it – comes toppling down. All the foundations which society say are important such as career, professionalism, marriage, finance, children, house, health, Churchlife & social life as you know them and quality of life are shaken to their core.

    Chapter 1: First thing first

    Chapter 2: Masks and games people play

    Chapter 3: Pain hurts

    Chapter 4: Unconscious needs which influence the journey – some tools

    Chapter 5: Not ready yet for change – Changing your mind (1)

    Chapter 6: Ready now – Changing your mind (2)

    Chapter 7: Stages of change

    Chapter 8: Conflicts

    Chapter 9: LOVE: Rebuilding, Refreshing, Resurrecting, Rekindling, Refreshing

    Chapter 10: Love me in five ways (1)

    Chapter 11: Love me in five ways (2)

    Chapter 12: Love me in five ways (3)

    Chapter 13: Love me in five ways (4)

    Chapter 14: Love me in five ways (5)

    Chapter 15: When the Five loves disappear

    Chapter 16: Communication or Miscommunication? (1)

    Chapter 17: Communication or Miscommunication? (2)

    Chapter 18: Communication or Miscommunication? (3)

    Chapter 19: A Lifetime love affair. A tall order or realistc?

    Any couple in relationship difficulty and those who just want to improve the intimacy of their marriage will find plenty of practical help in this down to earth guide which combines many years of deep insight with lots of case examples and tasks to do individually or together
    – Dr Trevor Stammers FRCGPformer GP for 27 years and author of Saving Sex: Answers to Teenagers, The Family Guide to Sex and Intimacy and Love Lies Bleeding: Abuse in the Family
    “Not a book for a quick read through! Gary McFarlane has packed boatloads of wisdom and practical advice in here. This is a book that could begin a relationship-transforming journey for many”
    Revd Professor John Nolland BSc ThL BD PhD, Academic Dean, Director of Research, Tutor, Trinity College, Bristol

    Song of Solomon for Lovers


    Available from & Google booksOr email me directly.

    A book for lovers

    Maybe the John 10:10 life was meant to encompass the pleasurable enjoyment and fulfillment of sex and sexual intimacy, when it is done God’s way.

    Proverbs 5: 15 – 19 commends those who are married to do the following:

    Drink water from your own cistern,

    And running water from your own well.

    Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,

    Streams of water in the streets?

    Let them be only your own,

    And not for strangers with you.

    Let your fountain be blessed,

    And rejoice with the wife of your youth.

    As a loving deer and a graceful doe,

    Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;

    And always be enraptured with her love.

    Sex goes wrong. It does not always work. It does not always click into place. The “No, No, No” and “don’t, don’t, don’t” before marriage, becomes “yes, yes, yes” after marriage, but so often and too often the “how, how, how” is missing from any guidance and pre-marriage preparation. Myths, misunderstandings, misinformation, misdirection and repeated practice, becomes entrenched and sex no longer holds the pleasure it once promised.

    Recapture it. Get it for the first time. Your enthusiasm that is! That sex can be great – when practiced in the context that God designed it and when His instruction manual is followed and practiced.

    Sometimes a little help is needed to redirect and get us back on track or on a new track.

    Prov 4: 7 “And in all your getting, get understanding. Gary McFarlane will seek to help you to get understanding.

    Chapter 1 What are the issues?
    Chapter 2 Do the Children really need to know that?
    Chapter 3 When love and sex goes wrong
    Chapter 4 Singles, sex, the Bible, marriages and their issues (1)
    Chapter 5 Singles, sex, the Bible, marriages and their issues (2)
    Chapter 6 Singles, sex, the Bible, marriages and their issues (3)
    Chapter 7 Sin and Iniquity
    Chapter 8 Belief theories in CBT
    Chapter 9 The Change process
    Chapter 10 Prep for oneness: Pre-marriage Prep
    Chapter 11 Sex Therapy
    Chapter 12 What happens during each sexual Response Cycle?
    Chapter 13 What is Sex Addiction?
    Chapter 14 Errors of Pastoral workers
    Chapter 15 Song of Solomon as a pattern for lovers
    Chapter 16 The 5 loves demonstrated by the couple (1)
    Chapter 17 The 5 loves demonstrated by the Couple (2)

    “I am very impressed with your book. It must have been a real labour of love”.

    “This message of this book is needed more and more every day….. It is certainly a book to be widely circulated”.

    “Personally I feel this book will be a vital help to Christians and Non Christians alike”.


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